I am addicted to playing “Scrabble” online. I get up early and usually devote an hour to it instead of doing something constructive like watching “Kimmie Schmidt” on Netflix.
I grew up playing board games with friends and family. Monopoly, 21, Checkers, and Chess (sounds like an REM song) and, of course, Scrabble.
I’m good with words so I usually win. This drives my family crazy, but I try to be lenient; I’m just that good.
However, in the virtual world, I’m not as good as I think.
Scrabble moved around a bit and was found on playsite.com, games.com, pogo.com and then it was gone. I think Hasbro, the owners, yanked it offline in a hissy fit because they weren’t making any money.
There are EIGHT Tiles!
Then, some Scrabble knock-offs came online. Some were really awful and then there was Lexulous. Lexulous is similar to Scrabble, but with some differences, notably there are eight tiles, not seven (imagine Captain Picard from Star Trek saying that: “there ahr eight tiles!”). And the values are different for the letters.
So, I’ve been playing Lexulous for a thousand years now. You start with 1200 points and compete with random people from around the world (and beyond). I usually find people from Australia, the UK, India, and sometimes, like 20 miles away (creeeeepy).
A few years ago, I got my score up to 1977. Wow! Almost broke 2000. Then I went on an epic slide. I went down into the 1600s and have been clawing my way back up. I seem stuck in the high 1700s. I win a few then lose a lot, win some, lose more. I feel like Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill. Only, he had it easy compared to what I’m going through!
But, there is a dark side. Some of the people on there are just rude, nasty, and out of their freakin’ minds. I was playing “Loopylinda.” All was going well, I won one, she (he or it) won one and then the last game I was behind and I placed my last set of tiles. The system froze. The timer kept running but I couldn’t submit. This happens a lot. So I hit the refresh. Well, that threw the game out. Sorry, not intentional. Loopy will still get the win in three days and the coveted points. But, in the chat window I received the following: “jerk.”
I wrote back that I was locked up and hit refresh. Oh no. I can’t ever play Loopylinda again that’s for sure. Apparently there is a way for people to “censor” you. Sometimes people get all mad at me and then I am censored! Ha! You will never play me again, you, you, meany head!
Lazy Slack Cow
Then, some people just get way carried away. Here’s an exchange I saved from three years and had posted on my Facebook page. Get a load of this:
louise63: u did nothing u took all my work
louise63: u don`t deserve to win lazy slack cow
Me: ok thank you
louise63: you gave back nothing selfish bitch
louise63: go rot
Me: ok. thanks for the feedback.
louise63: f**k off stupid fat cow
louise63: still doing nothing still useing the other person `s work and giving nothing back it`s a game for two people not just you fatso
Me: i’m not fat. but thanks for pointing out my character flaws.
louise63: ha ha your loosing
louise63: you will never WIN another game
Me: oh no! whatever shall i do?
louise63: die bitch
louise63: u r loosing because you are tro slack to think for yoursef you have to take everybody else`s work
What’s up with Louise63? Does she know Loopylinda? Why do they get so mad all the time? This exchange, actually, is not even the worst I’ve gotten!
A new exchange in which I am accused of cheating while I’m losing!
frogscroak: it’s nidce playing you
Me: see, the universe reset itself
frogscroak: the site did
frogscroak: but I think you cheat too much
Me: how can i cheat?
frogscroak: are you being obtuse?
Me: no it’s a real question because i don’t cheat nor do i like to be accused of doing so, so tell me how you think i am please
frogscroak: you don’t have the ratings level or the vocabulary for the words you paly
Me: esp. with a score of 1786, i guess im not a good cheater then!
frogscroak: so you must be amazingly lucky then
Me: ah. I work in publishing maybe that helps
Me: ok no problem.
frogscroak: you set type?
Me: i used to back in the day
frogscroak: you used to back in the day.
frogscroak: I have no idea what that means
Me: yes the 1980s before desktop computers
But, I’ll keep playing. I play honestly, even though I’ve been accused of being an “anagrammer.” I don’t know. I think there might be some online system to figure out words. If I put down a big-point “bingo” and get like, 103 points, then I get the virtual wagging finger pointed in my face: “Anagrammer! Burn at the stake, anagrammer!” Of course, I rarely get those but my opponents frequently do. But I’m a censored anagrammer. Don’t hang around with me, I’ll steal your vowels.
I played Jovanix who hails from where I don’t know. The score was pretty close but I won by ten in the end. As a way to congratulate me on my epic win, Jovanix and I had the following exchange (I edited some of the naughty bits but I’m sure you can figure out the actual text):
jovanix: f*cking c*nt
jovanix: beat you
jovanix: unbeleiveble chating
jovanix: f*cking unbeliavble
Me: i won by ten and i have score of 1742. really?
jovanix: you are f*cking sick bstard
jovanix: f*cking sick cheating c*nt
Me: ok if you say so. its only a game keep calm
jovanix: go f*cking die together with all your filks
jovanix: f*cking c*nt
Me: i don’t cheat if i did my score would be much higher
Me: ok have a nice day
jovanix: when you f*cking day
A new exchange!
PerfectStorm: you got to be kidding me (I played ZOUAVES for 77 points)
Me: no. it’s real look it up
PerfectStorm: of course it’s real the game would not allow the word if it wasn’
PerfectStorm: my question is whether YOU knew it
PerfectStorm: or a computer helped you get the word
PerfectStorm: go try it with someone else
Me: yes, I am a history fan so i knew it was
PerfectStorm: true colors are showing huh?
Me: just because i got a good word does not mean i am a cheater you i just happened to get the letters
Me: if i was such a great cheater would my score be 1758?
PerfectStorm: do you mind
PerfectStorm: i’m playing a game
A Fellow Player Writes In
I received an email from a fellow Lexulous player. I left out the player’s name. Glad to see I’m not the only evil cheating bastard out there!
Hi Jeff, I had a similar experience to yours a few days ago when playing Lexulous. I do not use word generators. I find words on my own. I have a well-rounded background and am knowledgeable about words and etymology (7 years of Latin studies; French and Spanish major at university). Well, I made two bingos in a game with Jovanix and then he requested that the game be aborted. I refused. If there’s a legitimate reason, like a technical problem, I’ll agree, but this was because he was mad that I was winning. Then came the tirade of swear words and accusations of cheating. I have a rating of about 1800, and often dip down to the low 1700s. Like you, I believe that no one with such ratings should be accused of cheating. I’m sure I’d be in the high 1900s, or even 2000s if I were cheating. I avoid playing with people with high ratings for this very reason. Why play against a software program? Well, the phrases full of c*un*s and f*uc*in*s spilled out in the chat box (from Jovanix). What an incredibly foul-mouthed person he is. And he also uses odd syntax. I believe he is not a native English speaker. But I kept my cool. I go to Lexulous for enjoyment, not to get grief. Too bad there are so many people like him there. Just wanted to commiserate with you! And I, too, know what a Zouave is! I learned it in French history classes!